Waiting...

Why is waiting on God's timing so difficult? Why do I always question why He makes me wait for answers to prayers, especially the ones I pray unselfishly for others? What is He trying to accomplish?

I think at the heart of this question, that I will, no doubt spend my life struggling with, lies a lack of faith in His providence. He has never once given me an answer that in hindsight was not it my best interest. The problem is not with His answer; it is with my perception and my incessant need to have what I want, when I want it. After all, I know what I can handle right?? WRONG!! As I look back over the times where God has told me "no" or "not yet," it has always been better for me than what I thought I needed or wanted. So why do I seem to default to begging Him to agree that I am right? I mean, that is what it boils down to. I try to reason with God that I know what I need better than he does. Oh me, of little faith.

You see God truly desires good things for His children. In Matthew 6: 25-34 He implores us not to worry or be anxious for anything. It is not His will that we go about our day anxiety ridden, worrying about what is or is not happening to us. When we worry, we doubt, and that doubt can lead us to believing that God doesn't care. I know I have struggled with thinking that I am being punished when He tells me "no" or "not yet" but in reality what might seem like a punishment, is really a blessing. I must hold strong to the plan He has for my life, not the one I try to convince Him is better for me. One of my favorite lyrics in Avalon's song, Dreams I Dream For You, is "You've read one page, I know the story. The story of my life is something I must let God author otherwise I will spend my life feeling disappointed.

So what exaclty is He trying to accomplish? He desires to grow me in my faith so that when circumstances arise in my life, I am armed and ready with His word, which is full of His promises. Psalm 37:4 states, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." I often look at this verse and used it to plea with God, asking Him why He answered no, when He promises to give me the desires of my heart. The key to my misinterpretation is in the first part of the verse. "Delight yourself of the Lord..." If, I am honest, I have noticed that those times when He has said "no" or "not yet," I was confusing God's desire for my life with my own personal desire. Now, I can pray for something that truly is a desire of my heart, but if I am more intent on the outcome rather than trusting God, His timing and wanting what will ultimately glorify Him, then I am not delighting myself in the Lord. I am delightling myself in me and my desire to have what I want, now.

My dear friends, waiting is never easy, but as I look back over my life and examine the many times God has proven that He knows what is best for me, I have found that His timing is ALWAYS worth the wait.